After a 50-minute phone call to Optus technical support yesterday, my enquiry was answered in 140 characters or less by the Optus Social Media team.

This is the sad tale of an Optus support call. I’m kicking myself I didn’t record it, because you just can’t invent this stuff. It’s so absolutely absurd that no-one, except those who’ve had the misfortune of ringing Optus for technical support, will believe you.

The problem was quite simple: a customer couldn’t send email. Outlook had just “stopped working”. Receiving email was fine, but sending email was not. The customer is connected to the internet with an Optus cable modem, and uses the Optus mail server and DNS server. This was the error being displayed in Microsoft Outlook when he tried to send a message:

All other internet services were working fine. I stopped and started Outlook, checked the account settings and checked the internet connection. All looked OK.

I could ping the Optus mail server, so I tried to telnet into port 25. (‘Ping’ and ‘telnet’ are basic network diagnostic and management tools.) The response I got from the Optus mail server was: ESMTP not accepting messages. To the technically-minded, and even the not-so-technically-minded, this means there’s a problem with the mail server. It’s “not accepting messages”. Pretty simple. Not much room for negotiation there, and not much more fault-finding to be done at this end.

I Googled “optus outage information” and found this site which told me there were no current issues with Optus email.

I thought (naively, in hindsight) I should ring Optus and at least alert them to the issue, and find out if I could use a different mail server in the interim. I was actually hoping to hear a canned message, like, “If you’re calling in relation to email difficulties, please be aware we are experiencing problems at the moment with… blah blah blah.” That’s all I wanted: a quick explanation, an expected outage time and a possible remedy.

My call to 1800 780 219 was answered promptly and it was pretty good quality to Mumbai. I provided the customer’s account details, and I explained to the helpdesk operator I was a technical support person, that we had a mutual customer, and it appeared the Optus SMTP server was down. I told him the error I was getting in Outlook, and the error I was getting by connecting via telnet. I asked if maybe there was an alternative mail server I could use, until the problem had been fixed?

At that point the call derailed rather badly. The next fifty minutes consisted of questions and suggestions (and my responses in italics) like the following. These were all interspersed with BEING PUT ON HOLD for up to 5 minutes at a time:

“We’ll try deleting all your mail in Outlook, and restarting Outlook.” “We won’t be deleting any mail today. It’s not a problem with Outlook, or the customer’s email. It’s a problem with your SMTP server.”

“Let’s create a new mail account in Outlook, that should fix the problem.” “It won’t, but I’ll do it anyway if helps to escalate the problem at your end.” Surprisingly, a new mail account with the same settings didn’t fix the problem.

“I will change the password on the customer’s account, let’s try that.” “But SMTP doesn’t need a password, we’re not using SMTP authentication.” (Password changed anyway.)

“You need to delete all your cookies and browser history, that should fix it.” “Ummm no it won’t. But I’ll do it anyway if it progresses your script.” (Done anyway FWIW. No difference.)

He asked if I could try the same test from another mail client, or on another machine on the customer’s network. I didn’t think that would achieve anything either, other than to check DNS resolution on an independent machine, but did it anyway. There was (predictably) no change in the response from Optus’s SMTP server.

I asked if the mail server name I was using was correct. He assured me it was.

I asked if I could email the help desk operator a screen-grab of the error messages. ”No, we don’t have email here.” (“Where are you, are you in Melbourne?” “No, I’m in Mumbai.” “Hmmm we have email in Melbourne, are you sure you don’t have email in Mumbai?”)

I asked if he could ping the mail server from his end. “No, we can’t do that from here.”

I asked if he could telnet into the mail server. “No, we don’t have telnet here.” I asked if he was familiar with telnet, and if he understood the tests I was performing here. He assured me he was, and that he understood. Then he asked me to check settings in Outlook again.

I was pinging the mail server name, and read out the IP address of the mail server. I asked him if the mail server name was resolving to the correct IP address? He said it was.

I asked him if the mail server name resolved to a different IP address on *his* network. He said he didn’t know, and suggested making more changes to Microsoft Outlook.

And then, my favourite, about 40 minutes into the call: “Actually, can I just check that you have access to the internet please?”

After this last question I forced myself to take a deep breath, and appealed (in a calm, steady voice) for the operator to think before the next time he spoke. “Oh, yeah,” he said, “After all the tests we’ve done, I guess you do have internet access.” Yep. Good guess.

The help desk operator steadfastly refused to concede there may have been a network problem. I honestly don’t know how I could have explained the issue any clearer. He seemed to understand what I was saying – there was no language barrier – but he kept repeating he had checked with “the engineers” and there was no issue with the Optus mail server.

I asked if there was a better network outage page I could monitor, in case an issue was discovered and later resolved. He said there was nowhere I could go on the World Wide Web to monitor service disruptions or outages on Optus Internet. I asked him if he was serious, and he laughed.

Eventually I said I’d just have to wait to see if the server came back. I said I’d like to wait on the line to answer a few questions in the automated customer survey at the end of the call. He said, “Okay, thankyou for calling Optus.” Click. Beep beep beep.

Now for the kicker: just as I was explaining the situation to my customer, Optus Social Media replied to a tweet they had seen. (I was tweeting vehemently about this sad and sorry tale whilst on hold). Here is the response from Optus Social Media:

I was speechless, dumbfounded, flabbergasted and a little bit pissed off.

To ask the most obvious of obvious questions, why couldn’t the help desk operator have told me this 50 minutes previously, in the first 90 seconds of my phone call?

Here’s what have I learnt from this experience:

• Social Media and Lazywebs will now be my first port-of-call for any technical support enquiry with Optus;
• I will actively discourage people from becoming Optus internet customers; and
• I will actively encourage existing Optus customers to churn to an ISP that offers better technical support than this.

What the hell would have happened if the customer (not being technically minded) had called Optus Support and followed their instructions? He would have deleted all his email, probably his mail account settings, screwed-up Outlook, and never actually achieved anything. This was not a difficult support call to resolve, from the point-of-view of the customer. There should be mechanisms in place for outage information to be shared across call centres, help lines and web sites. Quite clearly, at Optus, there isn’t.

No-one really cares if ISPs have a service disruption. Unplanned outages are inevitable in the IT industry. But for goodness sake, Optus should be able to manage them a lot better than this. If this is characteristic of the help desk support afforded by the telco, it probably goes some way to explaining news headlines we’ve seen throughout the year, like this and this.

Credit where credit is due, and kudos to the Optus Social Media team for monitoring Twitter and responding appropriately and in a timely fashion.

Unfortunately, after 15 years of providing cable internet to Australian subscribers, the rest of the organisation still has a lot to learn.

awkward moments · customer support · email · fail · help desk · Internet · internet support · mail · mail.optusnet.com.au · Optus · outage · poor customer support · SMTP · social media

The latest version of Kogan’s “Agora” tablet range has been released just in time for Christmas shoppers, and unhindered by patent disputes and other commercial obstacles.

Marketed as “the best value tablet PC in the world”, the Agora tablets run Google’s Android operating system. But how does the Agora compare to Apple’s iPad, or other tablets like the Samsung Galaxy Tab, the Asus Eee Pad, or LG’s Optimus Pad? I thought I’d buy one to find out.

Kogan LivePrice

The pricing of the Agora models is certainly attractive, with 7″-screen models starting at $199, 8″ models starting at $219, and 10″ models starting at $269. (These prices are all ex-delivery.)

Kogan sometimes offers a feature called “LivePrice”, whereby they accept orders ahead of manufacture and product availability. This (they say) helps Kogan to assess demand for a particular product, and better meet stock requirements. The “price clock” starts ticking early, until the day of release when the LivePrice, in theory, hits RRP. By ordering early, if you’re prepared to wait for manufacture, delivery, and “unforseen delays” (my delivery date went from the first week of November to the third week of November), then you’ll get an even cheaper product.

My Kogan Agora 10″ cost $239.38, so by ordering a few weeks prior to general availability, I saved about $30.00.

The Numbers

Here are the specs of the Agora 10″-screen tablet, taken straight from the Kogan website.

First impressions

The device arrived by courier. It was promptly unpacked, charged and powered-up. In addition to the above specs, the Agora is also supplied with a stretchy-cloth cover and a cleaning cloth.

Without any difficulty I had connected to the home WiFi network and sync’d it with my Google account. So far so good. I was web browsing, Tweeting, reading Gmail and loading applications from the Android Market.

The 10″ capacitive touch-screen is quite nice to use, and works predictably (albeit considerably less responsive than Apple’s iPad).

The inputs and outputs are handy, although the power socket and the headphone socket are almost identical in size. Don’t confuse the two.

It looks and feels like a giant Android phone, but as sleek and swish as it first appears, my excitement turned to frustration after a few days of use. I bought the Agora in the knowledge that it wasn’t running Android version 3, but a number of things I’ve subsequently discovered are frustrating and irritating.

Frustration and Irritation

Navigation button. The silver navigation button is handy as a ‘home’ button, but it’s not set up for navigation like on the HTC handsets. All it does is let you press it, and it returns you to the Android desktop. You can’t navigate screens, web pages or menus by swishing your finger across the button.

Crashes and reboots. A number of times I’ve had to hit the hardware reset button, because the device has got itself into an endless “Try Again / Cancel / Ignore”-type loop. This is disappointing. Once or twice a day, an application will just close, or crash, usually when you’re trying to do something quite basic, like send an email or look at a webpage or open an application.

Battery life and charging. Kogan says its tablet will give you “4 hours of normal use”. I seem to get four or five hours solid use every day, before it needs a charge. What frustrates the hell out of me is that the Agora won’t charge via its USB port. What the frack?!?! You’ll need to carry the super-duper Kogan-proprietary power supply around with you, if battery life is an issue. This is just poor hardware design and not acceptable in the tablet computer product-space.

Android thinks it’s a phone. Okay, I understand *technically* this is not Kogan’s fault, but it’s their tablet, they’re selling it, and any product shortfalls reflect badly on them. The build of Android installed on the Agora tablet (v2.3, code-named Gingerbread) thinks it’s a telephone. This is dumb, dumb, dumb. It’s taken Google until version 3 of Android (code-named Honeycomb) to release a product which can be configured as a WiFi-only device, and a number of products have been released way ahead of the Agora which run version 3, like the Asus Eee Pad and the Motorola Xoom.  Even now, we’re seeing new products being released which run version 4 of Android (code-named Ice-Cream Sandwich), like the Samsung Galaxy Nexus.

So why on Earth the Agora tablet wasn’t released running Android 3.1 (at least) is beyond me.  Sadly, this means there’s a “No Service” warning in the left-hand corner of the desktop, and it’s there for good.

To make matters worse, the operating system reports that most of its battery life is spent looking for radio hardware and components which don’t physically exist. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

“Screen wake”. This appears to be a systemic problem with the Kogan Agora tablets, and is discussed in detail on forums like xda-developers.com. When the device is not in use, every one or two, or five or ten minutes, the display just turns on. This appears to be related to the fact that Android keeps trying to connect to a mobile telephone network, but can’t. The solution is to root the tablet (get root access to the device) and install 3rd-party software. I haven’t been brave enough to try this just yet.

Internal G-Sensor. I switched off the auto-screen-rotate feature after about 10 minutes of use. It’s very sensitive – too sensitive – and unusable.  The slightest change in angle results in the display doing uncontrolled “360″s until you keep the device still.

Recommendations

I considered returning the Agora to Kogan for a refund. It’s flaky and frustrating. I think I’ll persevere for now, and I’m actively researching the best way to root the device and install a more up-to-date version of Android. I’m hoping that will fix a lot of the issues I’ve had to-date.

Would I recommend the Kogan Agora to the “tech-inquisitive”, dipping their toes in the sea of Android tablets for the first time? Sure, why not. It’s okay for what it is. Make sure you understand what you’re buying, and why it’s so cheap.

Would I recommend the Kogan Agora to IT professionals or power-users who want a stable, reliable and useful tool in their technology arsenal? No. While it’s only about $270, your money would be better put towards a Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 or an Apple iPad.

At the end of the day, you get what you pay for.

2.3 · Agora · android · Gingerbread · google · Honeycomb · Ice-Cream Sandwich · KATBL10ANDCA · Kogan · tablet

Dear Neglected Surgery,

Hi.  Remember me?  It’s been a while.

The last few months have been somewhat challenging; which is to say, without any exaggeration, they’ve been the worst months of my life.

On the 28th of August, my beautiful, darling, gorgeous, fun-loving wife Elaine passed away after a very sudden illness. Elaine had a number of chronic medical conditions, but that said, no-one was expecting her to become as sick as she did, that quickly, at that stage of her life.

Elaine was 38 years old. She worked as an Emergency Nurse for much of her life, in one of the busiest Emergency Departments in Victoria. She had just returned from a 6-week holiday in the UK visiting friends and family.

Over the space of a few days, Elaine complained of a headache which wouldn’t go away. A scan revealed she had a spontaneous subdural hematoma which required urgent surgery.  She was recovering well, but after about a week, took a sudden downhill turn. She was transferred to Intensive Care, but didn’t recover despite the best efforts of the best surgeons and medical staff anyone could hope for.

It sounds like a cliché, but it’s difficult to find words that express the impact this has had on my life.  Actually, it’s easy to find the words, but harder to arrange them into something that makes grammatical sense. The words would be devastation, loss, heartbreak, injustice, pride, humility and inspiration.  There is also a debilitating, overwhelming, sickening sense of waste.

Elaine’s death has caused me to re-evaluate the fundamental things in life: work, friends, family, where I live, who I am, what I do. Elaine had a whiteboard in her study which she looked at every day. Across the top is written “Laney’s New Mantras” which she devised about 6 months ago during painful hyperbaric treatment for ischemic fingers on her right hand. This is what helped Elaine to deal with the day-to-day rigors of her medical treatment:

1. THINGS WILL GET BETTER. It may take time, effort and pain but we will get there in the end.
2. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. There is enough to worry about – free yourself from the CRAP + detritus of life.
3. HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN. It sucks but you are not a victim.
4. DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE EVERY DAY. Don’t waste any opportunity to enjoy life.
5. TRUST PEOPLE TO HELP. You are loved, do not underestimate people’s ability to help.

Elaine’s funeral, on the first day of Spring, was attended by over 400 people.  It was an incredibly moving and emotional tribute to a woman who so selflessly devoted her life to caring for others.

It’s taken me a long time (weeks and weeks, on and off) to write this post. It has been cathartic for me, and hopefully inspires someone, somewhere, to hug a loved one; do something spontaneous; stop putting off “that thing” you’ve always wanted to do; or stop worrying about “that thing” that’s been driving you mad for ages.

Life’s too short. Get out there, make a difference. Enjoy yourself.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Elaine · Laney

This is a cursory, “first impressions” post about the latest social networking craze, Google+.

Facebook should be very concerned.  So should LinkedIn.  Google’s latest foray into social networking has all the hallmarks of a Facebook-esque social network but with safety and security at the forefront of the user experience.  Maybe they’ve learned from the failed Google Buzz in this regard?

Then again, maybe not.

Here are a few things I just had to get off my chest:

Gripe one: Instant Upload.

I’ve loaded the Google+ application on my Android-powered smartphone. It’s nice and uncluttered, and easy to use. It looks a bit like this:

However, without informing me or asking permission, the Google+ application uploads any photo I’ve taken to my Google+ account. Granted, it doesn’t publish these photos or make them visible, but when I log in to Google+ I get a notification which alerts me to the fact that new photos are waiting to be published:

You can turn this off in the Google+ app, by going into photos, pressing Menu, and unchecking “Instant Upload”. The problem IMHO is that when it installs, it defaults to ‘on’.

This is a bit spooky, like the uncle you always avoided as a kid, that said inappropriate things at Christmas dinner. It just makes you uncomfortable, and there’s no need for it.

Gripe two: User Invitations.

Whenever you share something with a “circle” (in Facebook-speak, post something on your wall), Google+ defaults to asking if you want to “Also email 124 friends not yet using Google+” or however many friends are in the circle but don’t have a Google+ account.  My 124 friends are now complaining that I am continually sending them Google spam, because every time I undertake a task or share something new, all my non-Gmail friends get a Google+ invitation.

It might be more user-friendly to send an invitation to a non-Gmail friend as a once off, rather than every time I do something.

I understand I can just uncheck this checkbox, but again, I don’t think it should default to being ‘on’.  And anyway, a mouse click is a mouse click, right?

Gripe three: Duplicate Contacts.

This isn’t strictly a Google+ problem; but we all have duplicate contacts in our address books, and the problem is exacerbated by Google+ and its circles. If you create a “Tech Talk” circle for example, you might find you’re dragging Dr Ron into the circle three, four, or maybe five times, because of separate contacts you’ve saved for Dr Ron with different phone numbers, email addresses, Facebook accounts and so on.

This is where I think Android has nailed it, with its ability to link multiple accounts and address book entries. Despite five “Dr Ron” contacts, they only appear as one consolidated contact in my contact list. (Thank goodness.)

And seeing as my Android contacts are my Gmail contacts, and my Gmail contacts are my Android contacts, can we somehow get these links pushed into Google+?  Thanks, that would be awesome.

To be continued…

Otherwise, Google+ is working well. It’s also still in beta, and has a long way to go. But I think it’s got a lot more promise than previous social networking attempts like Wave and Buzz.

More soon.

facebook · google · Google Android · Google Phone · HTC · social media · Social Networking

I read Adam Turner’s blog last week with interest: Is the Media Centre PC dead?

Adam filed another article on the popular Hydrapinion blog, too: Media Centre PC – R.I.P.?

My initial reaction was, “NOOooooo, Adam, why would you say such I thing?!” I’ve had a Media Centre PC in the living room for some years, running various versions of Microsoft’s Media Center operating system; with varying degrees of success too, I might add.

What we’re talking about here is not just a Media Centre: it’s actually a PC Media Centre running in your living room, plugged in to the television, the surround sound and your computer network. Like any PC it’s got a monitor (which, invariably, is your big-arse LCD or plasma television), as well as a mouse and a keyboard.

But what does the Media Centre PC actually do? In Adam’s ideal lounge room, he breaks down the technology components into five key functions:

1. High-Def PVR;
2. DVD/Blu-ray player;
3. Streaming media player;
4. Online video player; and
5. Gaming console.

Adam says you can mix and match gadgets, and I agree whole-heartedly, and I think that a Media Centre PC is the best device to achieve most (if not all) of these components.

For Points 1, 3 & 4 – my Windows 7 Media Centre has a tuner card (albeit Standard Definition – time to upgrade, Dr Ron?) and records free-to-air TV with ease. Ad-skipping is a breeze, and the programming and scheduling is made super-easy with an intuitive interface and electronic program guide.

Also, if you’re looking for a good streaming media player, I reckon the PC has got this nailed. Despite the occasional horrors of missing codecs, or proprietary players or buffering bandwidth, media streaming is made simple on a PC.

There are two problems that leap to mind with media streaming devices like Western Digital’s WDTV Live. Because there is no physical keyboard, you have to enter search queries, web addresses and server names with an on-screen “virtual” keyboard using the arrows on your remote control. I think I’d rather sit in a dentist’s chair for an hour than have to enter another URL on the WDTV Live with the supplied remote control. Don’t get me wrong, I own a WDTV Live and I think it’s an awesome device for what it is – but there are some things it just can’t do well.  This is one of them.

Second, a lot of “TV connected devices” are region-blocked on providers like Google’s YouTube. Devices other than PCs and home computers can’t play a lot of content. To add insult to injury, the User Interface in these devices often recommends popular clips, only to deliver a perfunctory error, like: ”THIS CONTENT NOT AVAILABLE ON TV-CONNECTED DEVICES” or similar. Of course, the Media Centre PC sidesteps this problem nicely.

For a DVD/BluRay player and gaming console, nothing beats the Sony PlayStation 3 for high-quality DVD and BluRay playback. The digital outputs deliver top-notch audio and video to your 21st Century lounge room. The PS3 is also a sensational games console, despite the recent PlayStation Network difficulties and Sony’s apparent slap-dash attitude towards security. Hmmmmmm.

I found this comment of Adam’s interesting: “To be honest, these days [the PC media centre] is more of a media server than a player.”

In actual fact, we use it the other way around. Apart from recorded programs from free-to-air, we don’t keep any content on our PC Media Centre. Its primary use is playback, accessing on-line content like YouTube, and Windows shares on the family media server (which is a Linux-powered PC in Shack East – read, ManLand).

It also makes sense to me to have a simple PC as a “lounge room component”. Sometimes you just want to do stuff on your big-screen TV: like web browsing, or looking at friends’ holiday pics on their SD card, or even sniping the latest must-have on eBay or GraysOnline.

The only downsides I can think of are the mechanical noise of a PC (which is manageable, and certainly not as bad today as it was 10 years ago); potentially the space it takes up; and the unwieldy mouse and keyboard which need a home somewhere. Even without cables, the wireless versions take up a bit of space.

I agree with Adam that you’re unlikely to find one gadget to do it all. But wouldn’t you agree, the PC Media Centre comes close?

adam turner · digital lounge room · media centre · media streamer · Microsoft · WD TV Live · Western Digital · windows 7

Well.

Where do I start?

I’ve been joking recently about having three full-time jobs. I’ve been employed by the Victorian Government in my current role for nearly seven years. This has been hugely rewarding and I have enjoyed the job immensely. It’s a job which involves shift work, overtime, on-call duties, and accounts for a large portion of my life. It also pays the bills, lets me buy clothes, food, that sort of stuff. I will refer to this as Full Time Job #1.

Also about seven years ago, I caught-up with a long-time friend who I had known since high school (let’s call him Andrew). Andrew has worked in the television production industry for many years. We’d been chatting over coffee about computers, mobile telephones and the state-of-the-fledgling internet. We marvelled at Pentium-powered desktops, the brilliance of Microsoft Office 2003, and how you could access email from your mobile telephone using a technology called GPRS, without making a phone call.

Andrew had, at the time, been speaking about technology on Melbourne radio station 3AK with Brett de Hoedt. Andrew suggested we continue our coffee-talk in front of microphones at a community radio station. I thought that sounded like fun, and on the 29th of November 2004, Tech Talk Radio was born. Tech Talk Radio is a lot of fun, but it’s very time-consuming. It’s akin to a full-time job, which for the purposes of the exercise, I shall call Full Time Job #2.

I’ve always wanted to do a lot more with Tech Talk Radio, in terms of production, interviews, sponsorship, syndication, guests and research. I think we all do as much as we possibly can at the moment, but tempered (and rightly so) with a view to maintaining our sanity, our families, our other full-time jobs, a healthy amount of fibre in our diets, and so on.

Recently, the opportunity arose to help Andrew with a small television project*.

“But,” I said, “This sounds like another full-time job. I already have a full-time job. I’ve got two, in fact.” I shall call this fledgling proposal Full Time Job #3.

So a decision needed to be made.

After much soul-searching, spousal negotiation and visits to the accountant, I’ve devised a cunning plan; just how cunning, only time will tell.

FTJ #1 has been good enough to let me take leave without pay, while keeping open my existing position. The leave period is effectively until the end of this year. I started leave at FTJ #1 yesterday, which was Friday the 27th of May. I will have to go back in for a few days here and there, but that’s part of the deal. I am effectively now on leave from FTJ #1 for seven months.

FTJ #2 will now combine with FTJ #3. I have registered a new company, and will be working until the end of the year doing full-time Tech Talk.

The mind boggles. Am I serious? Yes. Am I insane? Probably. I’ll be doing some freelance I.T. and telecommunications consulting as well, to keep the bills paid and food on the table.

It’s a nervous and exciting time. I’m in an extraordinarily fortunate position of being able to return to FTJ #1 if things don’t work out. But I’m feeling very optimistic about things, and I’m looking forward to the next seven months with copious quantities of zeal.

As one learned colleague said to me last night, “You don’t want to die wondering.”

Words of wisdom indeed. Stay tuned.

*to be continued....

social media · Tech Talk Radio · TTR

Like many of you in cyberspace, I’ve spent hours… days… weeks… even months of my life, wilfing on YouTube.

There’s the occasional smirk-worthy video, there’s the all-too-common blatant copyright ripoff, and there’s a heap of garbage which you BACK or NEXT after the first few seconds. I’m certain that I’m guilty of posting each of these types of material at various times.

On rare occasions, you actually find something on YouTube that’s worth adding as a Favourite. Sometimes you even hit Play Again. Occasionally, you literally LOL, and you’re compelled to share a YouTube link on Twitter or Facebook.

Here, then, are ten YouTube videos that I consider worthy of sharing.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

The Mummy / Daddy Song

Every parent’s worst nightmare. Watch until the 1st minute mark.

Be warned, the tune is strangely addictive.

VW commercial

This is hilarious. Darth Vader uses The Force, in his own inimitable fashion.

It’s only clocked-up a lazy 29 million hits.

Ford Sportka commercials

Cat lovers, ornithologists, look away now.

Were these really released by Ford? Yes and no. See what Snopes has to say.

The Man Cold

A short clip from the British TV comedy sketch show, Man Stroke Woman.

For women everywhere that don’t understand what it means for a man to have a cold. And for men everywhere, who know exactly what it means.

Torn

Mr Johann Lippowitz, an “interpretative mime”, performs Natalie Imbruglia’s hit “Torn”.

…and of course, with the great lady herself:

Toto’s Africa by Perpetuum Jazzile

Who needs foley artists when your choir is this talented?

Pomplamoose

The Pomplamoose channel has a heap of home-crafted cover songs, arranged and performed by talented musicians Nataly and Jack.

Their catchy, quirky, toe-tappin’ tunes will keep you amused for hours.

You mightn’t be a fan of Lady Gaga, but you’ll be sure to love this arrangement.

Eddie Izzard’s Death Star Canteen & Lego animation

(Audio not safe for work!)

With nearly 13 million hits, this is a YouTube classic.

A Lego animation of comedian Eddie Izzard talking about the ‘Death Star Canteen’.

Every Day … Telstra needs to Go Forward

Former Telstra CEO and oft-described Mexican Bandit Sol Trujilo says a very odd thing.

Notice what he said? He wants to make sure that ARPU sustains itself, or even grows.

The Honda Cog Commercial

And last but not least: this one has been around for a while, but it’s still very clever.

That is all. Now back to work.

facebook · funny · social media · Social Networking · telstra · Twitter · YouTube

I was forced to get cranky last week, when a trip to Village Gold Class at Doncaster proved to be a disappointing and nauseating experience.

It was nauseating quite literally, as someone appeared to have propped-up the projector with an old washing machine stuck permanently on its unbalanced spin cycle.  From the moment we were shown to our seats when the infomercials, advertisements and trailers began, the picture on the big screen was blurry, unfocussed, and appeared to have some sort of “vertical hold” problem; it was jittery and altogether unwatchable.

Hoping it was just the trailers, we waited until the movie started: The King’s Speech, starring Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter. After ten minutes of flicker and flutter, I hit the call button and politely informed the attendant (or do you still call them ushers?) that the picture was jumping around. She said she’d “place a call to the bio box,” or words to that effect.  Other people complained too.

Unfortunately, for the remainder of the movie, the problem was neither fixed nor improved. It was blindingly obvious against titles, where clear white text against dark backgrounds should have looked crisp and clear. Instead, it looked fuzzy and just made me feel motion sick.

We waited around at the end of the movie to voice our discontent, as did several other patrons. A manager, feigning interest, refused to refund the cost of our tickets, as if it was our fault somehow, but offered to record our details and have someone “investigate the problem”.

The next day I received a phone call from someone purporting to be a projectionist at Village Cinemas. He was most apologetic, and said the problem was due to “poor film stock” and “a misaligned screw in the projector”. He offered to send us complimentary Gold Class tickets and thanked me for bringing the problem to his attention.

The complimentary tickets are yet to arrive.

Sadly though, I can’t re-live the experience of seeing a movie for the first time. There’s a reason why people pay the extra bucks to enjoy the experience at Gold Class, and contrary to the description on their website, they’re still a long way from providing the “ultimate in movie indulgence”.

awkward moments · gold class · village

Over the Christmas / New Year break, Tech Talk panelists are taking time away from the studio.

During this time, we’re running a “best of” series which showcases highlights from the last few years.

So far, we’ve heard from:

Georgia Simmons, representing the Telstra Foundation;

Graham Henley from GetData;

Michael Crimean, a professional audio engineer;

Adam Turner attending the launch of the HTC Magic in Sydney, as well as the launch of Apple’s iPad and the opening of Apple’s Bondi store in Sydney;

George Pongas, the COO of ISP Domain Central;

Dr James Chon, representing Swinburne University;

Alan Eade from St John Ambulance (Victoria);

Mark Mayer, retired QANTAS airline pilot;

Jeff Alexander and David Glover from Microsoft;

Closet Tech Geek Sally Cockburn (aka “Dr Feelgood“);

Sandrina Branton from BMC Software;

European Correspondent Matthew Robinson;

Gaming expert Leena van Deventer;

Luke Durham from Switch Media, and Adrian Britton from HostWorks;

Independent technology journalist Anthony Caruana;

…as well as select Panel discussions, websites, gadgets and Odd Spots, and entertaining and informative Views from the Couch.

Next week we’ll re-visit the last episode of 2010, and Tech Talk’s inaugural Outside Broadcast, which went to-air live from the Sofia Family Restaurant in December.

We’ll all be back live in the studio on the 14th of February.  Rumours that former Tech Talk panelist Mark Diggins is back in the country are largely founded… stay tuned!

adam turner · apple · Microsoft · Outside Broadcast · social media · Social Networking · Summer Series · Tech Talk Radio · telstra · TTR · Twitter · windows 7

Still searching for an all-inclusive family media centre? Maybe it’s time to look at the latest offering from Microsoft.

I’ve never had a PVR in the lounge room. Everyone has their own personal preference, and for me, it makes sense to have a PC as a fundamental lounge room component, alongside the television, the DVD player, the BluRay disc player and the surround sound system. In addition to recording programmes off-air, you can use a networked PC-based media centre to view movies and listen to music on networked file shares, surf the web, and watch YouTube and Twitterfall on your big-arse television.

And sometimes, it’s just good to have “PC functionality” on a big screen in your lounge room.

An old-fashioned version of Microsft’s Windows XP operating system was the Windows XP Media Center (sic) Edition. The last version was released about 5 or 6 years ago, and was intended for the lounge room PC to consolidate your audio and video libraries, TV recordings and provide a friendly user interface with large fonts and nice colours which could be operated with a remote control, or wireless keyboard and mouse.

Unfortunately, the reality was quite different. Windows XP-MCE was the buggiest, flakiest, most God-forsaken application, and just completely failed to do anything useful whatsoever. It wouldn’t recognize many standard tuner cards (despite them being recognized and operating faultlessly in the same PC outside of XP-MCE), and it wouldn’t play many movie formats (again, despite them being playable by Windows Media Player in the same PC).

After wrangling with XP-MCE for several weeks, I gave it up as a bad joke. I used my PC media centre with the AVerTV software that was supplied with the tuner card (which worked fine ’standalone’, for recording free-to-air), and I simply used Windows Explorer to connect to network shares and play movies with Windows Media Player or VLC.

This worked well for many years.

Recently, Microsoft released Windows 7, and bundled the latest version of its media centre software with the Home Edition. Ho hum, I thought, the product probably hasn’t changed much, I’ll have a quick look but I can’t imagine using it as an all-in-one media centre.

Oohhh, but how wrong I was!

Microsoft, to its credit, has done an enormous amount of work on Win 7 MCE, compared with its XP ancestor. The user interface has been completely overhauled, and is fast, smooth and intuitive. The installation wizard recognised my tuner and set it up straight away. It seeks-out and finds audio and video media on the network, and adds files to its catalogue. It creates a new “Recorded TV” library where it stores all off-air recordings, and builds its own sensible filenames, thumbnails, and even saves a programme synopsis which it sources from the off-air TV  guide.

Hot-searching makes it very fast and simple to find pre-recorded programmes, indexed movies and other media.

The Main Menu is divided into a number of sub-menus:

• TV
• Movies
• Music
• Pictures + Videos
• Extras

TV

Recorded TV displays thumbnails of pre-recorded programmes off-air which are saved in a new “Recorded TV” library. You can see a brief synopsis of each, as well as recorded date/time, duration and other information. It’s simple, and it’s quick to launch recorded programmes.

One of the *best* features  is the recorded TV playback interface. When you move the mouse during playback, Win 7 MCE superimposes a slider control / timeline across the bottom of the display.  When you click-and-drag to jump forward or backward, Win 7 MCE displays a small thumbnail above the timeline, with a frame-grab of the programme at that point.  This makes ad-skipping an absolute breeze and sets Win 7 MCE ahead of many PVRs and internet TV services with this feature.

The Guide displays a conventional table that shows which programmes are currently being put to air by the “FreeView” stations, and which are scheduled in the near future. Simply right-click on these entries to see additional programme details, or to start recording, schedule recording, mark the series for recording (works very well), and a raft of other functions.

Live TV lets you watch television live. You can pause live TV, rewind live TV, view subtitles… all the usual features you’d expect from a modern PVR. What’s more, you can leave Live TV running while you click “back” or “menu”, and Win 7 MCE superimposes  the menu on top of the picture with an impressive “blend” effect.

Movies

The Movie Library functions search for and catalogue media on your network, as well as scheduled programmes in the FreeView Electronic Program Guide, which meet your search criteria.

For example, by selecting Movie Guide / Genres / Science Fiction – Fantasy, I can see in the next few days that “All Dogs Go To Heaven 2″ is on 7TWO, “Species” is on 7 HD Digital, and so on and so forth.  Of course as you’d expect you can right-click any of these results to record or see a brief synopsis.

Music

Win 7 MCE is great for organising your music.  Already got everything ripped to a network drive or external disk?  Simply add tracks to your Music Library by selecting Tasks / Settings / Media Libraries and selecting tracks or folders.

Search by albums, artists, genres, songs, and create your own playlists.  The album artwork is used nicely so you know what’s playing, what’s coming up and what’s available.  Microsoft even has native “visualization” effects, in case you like your TV / monitor to look like an animated tie-dye T-shirt.

The new Media Center also supports digital radio, if you have a digital radio tuner installed in the machine.

Pictures & Videos

As with music, Win 7 MCE makes it easy to manage pictures and video files on your network.  You can search for local media, as well as network file shares  and external devices.

It’s easy to add individual files to “Favorites”, and create playlists and slideshows.

By the way, all these functions operate independently. You can start listening to a music playlist for example, then click “Back” to the Main Menu, select Pictures and start a slideshow of your favourite happy-snaps.  You can show-case photos from your recent trip to Bali while you’re rocking out to Nirvana.  Or something.

Extras

There’s heaps under the hood: built-in support for BigPond Movies, media extender support for the Xbox 360, CD and DVD burning, syncing of content between Media Center and portable devices, and much, much more.

My Setup

None of this is running on the world’s fastest machine. I’m running Windows 7 Home 0n an Intel Core 2 Duo 3 GHz machine, with 2 GB of RAM and a 1 TB hard disk. This machine has a Windows Experience Index of 5.5.

I use the digital video output of my media centre’s video card, which connects directly to an HDMI port on the television. I have a lovely new Sony Bravia LCD television, and the picture simply sparkles.

Audio runs from the soundcard output of the media centre into an auxiliary input of a surround-sound audio amplifier.  The next project is to get digital audio out of the PC and into the same amplifier.

I did have a wireless card in my earlier Windows XP Media Center.  It did the job okay, but video buffering and network speeds were always a problem.  Eventually I got sick of the stop/start wireless networking and cabled a 100 Mbps port to the rear of the machine.  I’d strongly recommend cabling a network connection to your media centre instead of relying on wireless.  Trust me, you’ll notice a massive improvement in network access speeds and reliability.

The Verdict?

Windows 7 MCE is streets ahead of its predecessor, Windows XP Media Center Edition. Microsoft has done a lot of work to keep the product competitive against big names like TiVo, the Foxtel iQ, the Boxee and others.

Playing devil’s advocate for a moment, I can think of three four things where Win 7 MCE falls short of a digital PVR:

1. the proprietary Microsoft recorded TV file format, which can’t be used by other applications without first being converted to something standard;

2. the system startup time, i.e. if you see something on live TV and want to start recording straight away, when your media centre PC is turned off;

3. the mechanical noise of a physical PC in your lounge room; and

4. unwieldy wireless keyboards and mouses lying around the lounge room.

For me, these are not show-stoppers.  Windows 7 MCE is a real contender in the digital lounge room.  If you’ve got a spare PC lying around, and a VGA port or spare HDMI input on the television that needs to be put to good use, you could do a lot worse than loading Windows 7 Media Center and connecting it to your digital living room.

Unlike its predecessor, you won’t be disappointed.

digital living room · digital lounge room · Media Center · media centre · Microsoft · PVR · Windows · windows 7